In the 70s, there were a portion of twenty-somethings who were freer with their sexuality and more willing to try out new forms of partnering. Now the media is focusing on the advent of young adults avoiding sex. Research studies report that young adults today are having less sex than previous generations. In a nationally representative 2020 U.S. study published in JAMA Network Open, researchers found that sexual inactivity increased among young adults between 2000 and 2018, with nearly one in three men ages 18 to 24 reporting no sexual activity in the previous year.
At first glance, the research appears to be clear: young people are reporting fewer sexual partners than preceding generations but how exactly are the researchers defining sex?
Many studies define sex narrowly, often focusing on penile-vaginal intercourse among heterosexual participants. But sex therapists and sexuality researchers have long argued that sexuality encompasses far more than intercourse alone. If we broaden the definition to include oral sex, mutual masturbation, sexting, erotic touch, virtual sexual experiences, and other forms of sexual expression, the picture becomes more complicated.
There are many hypotheses as to why people are reporting less sex overall. Dating apps might lead you to believe that people have more opportunity for sexual encounters, but while there is greater access to partners, there is less casual sex happening. People just are not meeting in adventurous or spontaneous ways anymore that would ultimately lead to fun casual hookups.
One of the main hypotheses researchers have explored is that twenty-somethings are taking longer to grow up than their parents did. In a 2021 article published in Socius: Sociological Research for a Dynamic World, sociologist Jennifer M. Silva argued that the transition to adulthood has become prolonged and individualized, with many twentysomethings spending more time pursuing higher education, establishing financial security, and reaching traditional adult milestones later than previous generations. As a result, long-term committed relationships and marriage are often postponed until the later twenties or beyond.
When heterosexual sex therapy clients in their twenties show up for treatment, they report having had sexual hookups, casual situationships, or short romantic relationships starting in high school or college. However, what they often also describe is a lack of experiences in which: they felt fully confident in expressing their sexual desires, penetrative sex felt transactional, pressured and at times coercive or assaultive. When taking a sexual history, a sex therapist will also ask about whether someone experienced sex while sober or if most of their encounters occurred under the influence. These narratives expand on the findings of quantitative studies. Thus, “less sex” does not necessarily mean less sexuality, desire, or erotic exploration.
Less Sex Doesn’t Always Equal Less Sexuality
Sexuality researcher Debby Herbenick and colleagues (2017) have noted that while some traditional sexual behaviors appear to be declining, people may be engaging in a wider range of sexual experiences. This idea is reflected in their study, “Sexual Diversity in the United States: Results from a Nationally Representative Probability Sample of Adult Women and Men,” published in PLOS ONE, which examined a broad range of sexual behaviors beyond intercourse and concluded that U.S. adults engage in more diverse sexual behaviors than previous national surveys had captured.
This distinction matters because desire and behavior are not the same thing. A person may experience attraction, sexual fantasies, or desire while having little or no partnered sex. Sex therapy clients often report engaging in erotic experiences that fall outside conventional definitions of intercourse like interacting with sexually explicit media, online chat rooms, or erotica while self pleasuring. They may also be engaging in hookups that don’t include penetration and therefore don’t define that encounter as ‘real sex’. Some clients may describe encounters with sex workers like masseuses that provide ‘happy endings’ or sex workers that offer oral sex. These distinctions that aren’t necessarily reported in surveys and studies raise an important question:
Are young people having less sex, or are they just expressing sexuality differently?
The answer may depend on how we define sex in the first place.
Are LGBTQIA+ Folks’ Experiences Different?
Another limitation of many studies is that they have historically focused on heterosexual populations and heteronormative definitions of sex. For example, Ueda and colleagues’ (2020) study in JAMA Network Open measured sexual activity primarily through the frequency of sexual intercourse and number of sexual partners, illustrating how much of the literature has relied on traditional, heterosexual-centered definitions of sexual behavior.
For LGBTQIA+ individuals, sexuality often includes a broader range of behaviors and experiences that may not fit neatly into traditional research categories. As a result, statistics about declining sexual activity may not fully capture the experiences of sexual and gender minority populations. For example, many gay men identify as a “side” rather than a “top” or “bottom,” meaning they do not engage in penetrative sex. Queer women may prefer external stimulation, or what sex therapists call “outercourse,” without viewing their sexual experiences as any less meaningful. According to a 2025 International Journal of Sexual Health study by Lindley et al., some transmasculine and nonbinary individuals avoid genital contact or penetration altogether as a way to reduce gender dysphoria.
These experiences highlight the importance of examining not only how often people are having sex, but also how they define intimacy, pleasure, and connection.
What Does Less Sex Mean for Intimacy?
Intimacy may increasingly be sought through digital connection. Long-distance relationships can now be maintained through phone calls, FaceTime, and texting in ways that might not have been possible years ago. At the same time, sex therapy clients often describe more erotic engagement online, which may contribute to less physical intimacy in person and is worth examining because it may not be as emotionally nourishing.
It would be interesting to explore whether Gen Z and Millennials feel a loss of intimacy or are simply finding it in new ways. While technology provides new outlets for connection, certain aspects of in-person intimacy remain difficult to replace. Physical touch, eye contact, and shared experiences all contribute to feelings of closeness in ways that digital communication cannot fully replicate.
What Should be Researched More Fully?
A more interesting conversation could ultimately revolve around how ARE the general public and our sex therapy clients defining sex and sexuality? If young people are delaying relationships, exploring intimacy online, or engaging in forms of sexuality that fall outside traditional definitions of sex, then simply counting sexual encounters may not tell the whole story. Desire, intimacy, and sexual well-being cannot be fully measured by the number of partners someone has or how often they have penetration.
