Sex Therapy

Many people want to know what sex therapy is, and how it differs from general therapy. At CLS we are specialized to treat specific sexual disorders, situations and problems in an integrated manner with other therapeutic techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, psychodynamic therapy, mindfulness meditation and systems therapy. We see people with their partners or if need be, individually to address a variety of presenting problems.

We are equally sensitive to the pressures facing men who feel anxious when their erectile functioning is compromised as we are to women who are struggling with low desire and/or sexual pain.

Sex Therapy Issues With Which Men Seek Treatment with Sari Cooper & CLS Therapists:

Performance Anxiety while Dating and/or in Relationships

For single and newly single men the dating world poses challenges in what men feel is expected of them. The culture pressures them to be ready willing and able to have sex whenever a partner expresses the interest and consent. For men in committed relationships, the anxiety to fulfill what a partner is desiring can have a domino effect over time and lead to sexual avoidance. Learning how to express one’s needs, fantasies and desires can be challenging in these situations. Sex Therapy can address these and help people overcome these concerns.

Erectile Dysfunction

There are several causes to ED including medical, pharmacological, intrapersonal (issues relating to your own psyche) and interpersonal (patterns between partners). Many times the domino affect of ED is ]sexual avoidance with his partner. This then has the next domino affect of the partner experiencing a wide array of reactions including: concerned, rejected, lonely, sexually frustrated, angry and avoidant themselves. The impact on your relationships(s) can cause tremendous anxiety and strife. We at CLS are trained to assess and treat ED.

Uncontrolled (Premature) Ejaculation

For some men the ability to control when they want to climax can cause dissatisfaction and disappointment for themselves and their partners.

Inhibited (Delayed) Ejaculation

The difficulty to climax with a partner can cause rifts with partners and most men don’t feel it’s an issue until they’re in a long-term committed relationship and their partners are feeling anxious, rejected, frustrated, and/or worried about becoming pregnant if that is one of their long-term goals.

Past Childhood Abuse or Trauma

One’s sexual history involving abuse, rape or boundary crossings can have a profound effect on one’s current and future relationships. Sex Therapy is an integral part of a person’s and/or couple’s recovery.

Out of Control Sexual Behavior

One can feel the compulsion to watch porn for so many hours that it interferes with their professional or personal functioning or can’t stop pursuing hookups for the sake of the thrill or high. Sex Therapy takes into account the behavior and the underlying reasons into the multi-axial assessment and treatment.

Sex Therapy Issues With Which Women Seek Treatment with Sari Cooper & CLS Therapists:

Low Libido

One of the most common problems women bring into sex therapy is lack of desire. This may be due to medical issues, side effects from medication, hormonal changes and/or complex issues in one’s relationship. Sex therapy looks at all the layers that affect this presenting issue.

Pain During Intercourse

At CLS we do a thorough bio psychosocial assessment and work with other healthcare providers to help women get a proper diagnosis and treatment for their Genito Pelvic Pain/Penetration Disorder including: Vulvodynia, Vaginismus, and /or Sexual Aversion.

Past Childhood Abuse or Trauma

One’s sexual history involving abuse, rape or boundary crossings can have a profound effect on one’s current and future relationships. Sex Therapy is an integral part of a person’s and/or couple’s recovery.

Inability to Orgasm

The inability to reach orgasm (Inorgasmia) can be a frustrating experience for a woman and her partner (if she’s in a relationship). We work on this issue with both the woman and her partner so that both are educated and supported during the treatment.

Sex Therapy Issues With Which Adults Seek Treatment with Sari Cooper & CLS Therapists:

Sexual Avoidance

Although some couples have a terrific bond and relationship outside the bedroom, many times they come to feel like platonic roommates. The thrill of seductions, the excitement of passionate play has been stripped of the relationship. We work with couples to explore the timeline of the changes or the milestones that may have contributed to the shift. At times the avoidance is due to deeper issues in a partner’s history or a couple’s initial non-verbal contract.

Discrepant Desire

A common difficulty occurs when partners have different needs or desires in the frequency of sexual connections.

Infidelity/Affair Recovery

The discovery of an affair or cheating incident wreaks havoc on a couple and is experienced as a crisis in their relationship and family. We at CLS are trained to help a couple works on the recovery of trust but also address the challenges to their intimate life.

Lack of Technique as a Lover

Due to one’s cultural, religious or at times psychological reasons, a person may not have a lot of experience with a partner and this make affect their confidence in dating or in the beginning of a relationship. At CLS, Sari and her therapists teach clients through resources and home play assignments to be watched, read and/or practiced between therapy appointments. We also focus on the cultural myths that may be impeding one’s exploration of one’s sexuality.

Kink related Issues

Whether one is interested in lighter power exchange or more intense BDSM type play in your sexual relationship, a person often has difficulty discussing these types of desires and or fantasies with their partner/spouse. Sex therapy sessions allow for a neutral well-trained therapist to lead the discussion and offer education and resources to a couple or individual.

Non-Monogamous Relationships

Sometimes a couple would like to negotiate or re-negotiate their monogamy contract to include other partners. These conversations can be challenging given the fears and jealousy partners may experience in branching into a new type of relationship openness. CLS therapists are trained to offer guidance and perspective on the non-monogamy issues and boundaries that need to be discussed, possible challenges and how this fits into their developmental stage as a couple.


CLS are experienced therapists and are sensitive to the needs of LGBTQ clients and their partners. Sari and her team use a variety of approaches with their clients in therapy depending on the issue they are looking to address. Some of these theoretical techniques include:

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • Psychodynamic Psychotherapy
  • Family Systems Therapy
  • Mindfulness
  • Sensate Focus
  • Body Focused Play

What Comes Next

Email our intake coordinator to set up a day and time you have some privacy to have a brief phone intake call. On this phone call you will let them know a bit about your problem, your history with past treatment, find out about our fees and the best days and times you can attend therapy sessions. Once you’ve scheduled an appointment you will receive an informed consent form to print out, complete and bring to your first session

Fees and Insurance Information

Each therapist at Center for Love and Sex has their particular fee structure. When you have your initial phone screening with our intake coordinator you will discuss your fee budget and preference for therapist, day, and times you’re able to come in on a weekly basis.

Therapists do not participate in-network with any insurance companies. Clients pay their therapist each time they come to a session and are then mailed or handed an insurance-compatible statement at the end of each month to send to their insurance companies for out of network reimbursement. Each insurance company varies on what reimbursement they give for psychotherapy out of network. You may want to check with your insurance company to find out what they offer for psychotherapy with a therapist with your therapist’s particular licensure in New York State.

What Can I Expect at My First Therapy Appointment?

Many people have fears, preconceptions, and at times, no idea at all about what therapy will be like the first time they come in for a first session. Hopefully this article can shed some light on what therapy is actually like. And we would also encourage you to reach out and ask your therapist any questions you have about what therapy will be like with them.

There aren’t many universal truths about what you can expect at your first therapy appointment, since each therapist has their own way of approaching their work. But here are some things that may happen in your first session here at Center for Love and Sex:

  • When you arrive at your first appointment, have a seat in the waiting room. Your therapist will greet you in the waiting room, ask for your completed intake form and invite you into the therapy room.
  • While you wait for your appointment, there’s a large selection of magazines to look through. There’s also a private, non-gendered restroom for your use at the UWS office. If you are coming to the midtown location the keys to separate bathrooms down the hall are on the black key hooks above the magazine rack.
  • Your therapist will come out to get you when it’s time, and you’ll walk together to their office and settle in for the session. The office is really just a room with comfortable seating, a desk, and a bookshelf. You can sit however you want to sit.
  • Your therapist will likely remind you that what you talk about in session is completely confidential with a few legal and ethical exceptions, which will be explained to you (and which are outlined in our consent to treatment document). If you have any questions about those policies, you’re absolutely encouraged to ask!
  • Your therapist might discuss any other policies they have (cancellation, payment, session length, scheduling, or other ‘frequently asked questions’). This all only takes a few minutes.
  • Then, depending on the level of crisis that you’re currently experiencing, your therapist might review their particular style of therapy, discuss your intake form with you, begin a more thorough assessment of your history, or just ask you what brings you in at that particular time. From there on, it’s a conversation and there are no right or wrong things for you to say — the only thing you can do ‘wrong’ at that point is to be dishonest, and in doing so you would only impede yourself. If there is something about your therapist that seems like it would get in the way of you feeling comfortable being honest, you can say so, and your therapist may be able to help you feel more comfortable. We want you to feel comfortable and confidant with your therapist. If at any time you don’t, please let them know or let the director know.
  • Your therapist may or may not take notes, depending on their treatment style. These notes are also confidential unless you consent to their release, and they are kept under lock and key. (There are separate notes called treatment notes; these are also confidential and under lock and key unless you consent to their release, or unless your therapist is durably court-ordered to release them).
    1. You consent to their release
    2. Your therapist is durably court-ordered to release them.
    3. You are in danger of hurting yourself, someone else or a child
  • Your therapist will have tissues if you need them. Therapy is a safe space to show your vulnerability so crying is perfectly acceptable.
  • You’ll pay for your session at the end, generally, and you make your personal check out to Sari Eckler Cooper in the amount agreed upon during your intake phone call. We also accept cash or Chase Quick Pay.
  • You can discuss a regular meeting time with your therapist so that this time becomes your reserved time.