With the rise of shows like Bridgerton, Heated Rivalry, and Off Campus, conversations about “smutty TV” have moved into the mainstream. But these shows may be doing more than entertaining us. Research has long suggested that media plays an important role in the process through which people develop beliefs and expectations about sex and relationships. In a 2003 empirical research review by social psychologist L. Monique Ward, one concluding argument  was that media serves as powerful sources of information about sexuality, particularly when they repeatedly portray certain ideas about attraction, romance, and intimacy. 

What makes today’s smutty media especially interesting, however, is that the fantasy often extends far beyond the sexual acts themselves. In a recent 2025 analysis study published in the journal Sex Roles, researcher Johanna Kluger found that romantic heroes depicted in contemporary romance novels have changed with modern cultural expectations. Rather than the emotionally distant, dominant heroes that were once prevalent in romance stories, today’s most popular love interests are often emotionally intelligent, communicative, and attentive. Building on this thought, in a 2018 analysis of female-authored erotica Mayeesha argues that modern work portrays stories where, “emotionally responsible masculinities are imagined for men who perform emotional labor equally to their female partner” (Mayeesha, 2018). In other words, smutty media doesn’t just portray sexual scenes solely featuring power exchange, it often showcases an idealized emotionally attuned version of partnerships. 

Are Modern Smutty TV Shows Changing Americans’ Expectations About Sex?

In recent years there have been numerous popular so-called “smutty” shows on television and streaming outlets. While no longer considered ‘trashy’ the term ‘smutty’ has become claimed by fans as something that is no longer stigmatized. What’s particularly interesting about many of today’s most popular “smutty” shows is that the fantasy they offer often extends beyond the physical sexuality itself. Shows like Heated Rivalry, Bridgerton, and Off Campus center not solely on the bodies and physical expression of the main actors, but also their characters’ emotional vulnerability, increased communication, and a growing attachment between partners over the storyline’s arc. 

The genre of the modern ‘romantasy’ has cropped up in discussions on social media platforms. Many clients who reach out for relationship or sex therapy articulate the kind of relationships they are longing for. These are clients who may be  frustrated with dating apps because of the many people who match with them are less emotionally attuned than the main characters in their favorite series.  These so called ‘smutty’, ‘romantasy’ series are offering viewers a depiction of emotionally integrated sexual relationships. They are also perhaps a reflection of Americans’ updated practical expectations around intimacy.  The expanded notions of modern erotic storytelling currently produced may be specifically marketed for the “female gaze” . Many female identified therapy clients report taking “breaks” from dating, expressing hopes to have an in real life ‘meet cute’ illustrating the longing for a return to romantic, interpersonal flirtation. . 

The Context around “Smutty” Sex Scenes Has Changed in Modern Shows 

In a 2018 study in Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers Timmermans and Van den Bulck (2018) found that television was more likely to show explicit sex solely in casual relationships rather than in committed ones. Many of the current popular romance shows are pairing what sex therapists call sexual scripts which combine explicit sex scenes with intense emotional sharing, deep intimacy, and sweeping romantic dates . When clients of any gender come into sex therapy for help in their dating journey, they are questions like: 

• When should I begin having sex with a new partner?
• How do I tell someone I like that I need to be more connected before having sex with someone who says they have sex as a way to to become emotionally attached?
• What do I do if I lose my erection and my date thinks I’m not that into them? 
• Is it a bad thing when I fantasize about the scene I love in Off Campus while having sex with this new person I’m having sex with?
• When should I tell a guy I have vaginal penetrative pain? Should I tell him before we have sex so he doesn’t think it’s his penis size? 
• I’m so tired of a guy expecting sex on the third date, how do tell him I am looking for something intimate and I need more time before I feel connected?
• How do I tell a new partner it takes a while for me to orgasm with a new partner? 

Kluger’s research explains that historically, male leads in erotica books and films were emotionally unavailable, controlling and hyper masculine. What clinical material and these new series are illustrating is the expression and expectation of emotional intelligence, vulnerability, authentic communication and mutual empathy. In addition to these attributes, we’re seeing prolonged stories that involve yearning that lead to explicit sex scenes. In Heated Rivalry, the lead characters Ilya and Shane have years of in-the-closet casual sex over a period of three or four years while Shane encourages Ilya to share more of an emotionally connected relationship. The characters Anthony and Kate spend most of the second season of Bridgerton resisting their sexual attraction for one another while getting to know each other before finally succumbing to their yearning emotions. The fantasy in these stories expands on the slow burn–to include a slow yearn. 

In the series Normal People, the character Connell openly expresses his emotions and seeks therapy when he is struggling. This type of male character and relationship is markedly different from what audiences would have commonly seen twenty years ago. In all of these stories, sex scenes often represent more than physical intimacy; they reveal the emotional dynamics, conflicts, and tremendous personal growth within the relationship. As a result, smutty media is offering audiences more than just sexual fantasies to emulate, it is also presenting ideals about what authentic intimacy and partnership might look like.

Romantasy Smutty Shows’ Potential Impact on Relationships

While characters on series and in books are evolving, are real men’s actions evolving as well? These depictions of emotionally deep and vulnerable relationships could raise expectations among the mostly female audience they are targeting. Though media is just one influence for relationships, it is possible that these standards are unattainable or at least not what men are currently able to provide in relationships. Recently,the recorded message left by ‘voice memo guy’ has lit up social media due to the direct, emotionally deaf and self-involved question regarding his request to have sex on the second date saying his boundary is that he would only come over to her apartment for a home-cooked meal if she consented in advance to ‘hook up, cuddle and be intimate’ with him. Beyond being a clearly self-interested request for sex, what comes across is his belief that consent is a one-time question and answer exchange versus checking in throughout a sexual scenario to see what each person might want to do, or not, he uses the terms “hooking up” alongside “intimacy”.  So while this memo does not have to do with the ‘romantasy’ novels and shows being streamed, he is using the language of intimacy to illustrate perhaps what he thinks she is looking for or maybe just what he experiences as intimacy.   

Final Thoughts

Smutty shows and books may indeed be influencing expectations about partnered sex, but the deeper question is whether they are also changing the way dating people think about relationships and whether partners can live up to these fantasies. Contemporary romance media increasingly presents not only exciting sex and intense chemistry, but also idealized versions of emotional intimacy. Characters are often deeply attentive to their partners, willing to express their feelings, and committed to personal growth in ways that audiences may find both attractive and aspirational.

As Ward’s research suggests, media can play an important role in shaping our beliefs about sexuality and relationships.Modern smut or romantasies may not simply be selling a fantasy of great sex; it may also be selling a fantasy of the perfect partner. Whether these portrayals inspire healthier relationship expectations or create standards that are difficult to meet remains an open question, but they are undoubtedly expanding the conversation beyond sex itself and toward what people want from intimacy, dating, erotic connection, and emotional attachment.