Host: Sari Cooper, LCSW, CST, CSTS, Founder of The Center for Love and Sex
Guest: Maggie Vaughan, LMFT, Founder of Happy Apple Therapy
🎙 INTRODUCTION
“Welcome to the Allied Professional Interview Series. I’m Sari Cooper, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor, and the Founder of the Center for Love and Sex in New York City. Today, we’re diving into a deeply important and often misunderstood area of therapeutic collaboration — how sex therapists and EMDR therapists can work together to support survivors of sexual trauma on their journey toward healing, intimacy, and pleasure. Joining me is Maggie Vaughan, LMFT and Founder of Happy Apple, an EMDR specialist who focuses on trauma-informed care and nervous system regulation. Maggie, I’m so glad to have you here today.”
Foundations of Healing Collaboration
Sari:
“Let’s start by grounding our audience. Maggie, for those who may not be familiar, can you briefly describe how EMDR therapy works and how it helps people process sexual trauma?”
Maggie:
“Absolutely. EMDR — Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — helps clients reprocess traumatic memories that are stored maladaptively in the brain. For survivors of sexual trauma, it’s often about helping them reconnect to a sense of safety in their body while reducing the emotional charge of those traumatic memories. Once that groundwork is laid, they can start to experience intimacy and sexual pleasure without the same physiological or emotional reactivity.”
Sari:
“That’s so vital. As Certified Sex Therapists at Center for Love and Sex, we often see clients ready to address intimacy issues — pain during sex, avoidance, or panic and anxiety around being touched — when we assess and discover there’s unresolved trauma at the root. That’s where collaboration with EMDR therapists like you becomes essential.”
The Collaborative Process
Sari:
“Let’s talk about what a healthy collaboration looks like. When a sex therapist refers a client to an EMDR therapist — or vice versa — what are some best practices?”
Maggie:
“The first thing is establishing clear communication and consent. We want to make sure the client knows we’re part of a team — not two separate silos. Regular case consultation with the sex therapist (with the client’s permission) allows us to track progress, avoid overlap, and ensure that we’re pacing the work appropriately. Sometimes, EMDR treatment comes first to stabilize trauma responses; other times, we can move concurrently, depending on the client’s readiness.”
Sari:
“Yes, and from the sex therapy side, once EMDR has helped reduce the traumatic triggers, we can introduce sensate focus exercises, body mapping, and communication skills — helping clients re-engage sexually in a way that feels safe and empowering. This is true for clients who are single and want to date, as well as for people who are already in a relationship, partnered or married.”
Common Challenges & Misconceptions
Sari:
“What do you think are some of the biggest misconceptions Certified Sex Therapists might have about EMDR treatment, and vice versa?”
Maggie:
“Some sex therapists worry that EMDR is too intense or that it will ‘re-traumatize’ the client. In reality, EMDR is highly contained and client-led. We focus on resourcing and stabilization before we ever explore and treat the trauma directly. On the flip side, some EMDR therapists may overlook the importance of addressing erotic embodiment — which is where collaboration with Certified Sex Therapists becomes so powerful.”
Sari:
“Exactly. Healing trauma is not just about desensitization; it’s about re-sensitization in an empowered manner— helping clients reclaim pleasure, connection, safety and agency in their bodies.”
Integrative Healing in Practice
Sari:
“Can you share a case example — anonymously, of course — of how collaboration between EMDR and sex therapy led to transformation for a client?”
Maggie:
“Sure. I worked with a client who had a history of sexual assault and was experiencing panic during intimacy. Through EMDR, we targeted the traumatic memories that were still stored somatically. Once those responses softened, her sex therapist was able to guide her through body reconnection exercises and communication tools with her partner. The two therapies together allowed her not just to reduce symptoms but to rediscover joy and trust in intimacy.”
Sari:
“That’s such a beautiful example of integrative healing — how the trauma work sets the stage for the re-embodiment work that we sex therapists specialize in. From our end we have referred clients to EMDR-Certified therapist who had difficulty due to disassociation during sex and had only experienced sex as a giving, performative act for her partner’s pleasure rather than finding how to be somatically present and vocal about what she wanted for her own sexual pleasure. Through our holistic, collaborative approach she began to set up boundaries with her partner in couples work so that she could begin to discover what felt secure and physiologically stimulating in a sexual encounter.”
Takeaways for Clinicians
Sari:
“For clinicians reading, what are the top three takeaways we can offer when it comes to collaboration between EMDR Therapists and Certified Sex Therapists?”
Maggie:
“1️⃣ Build trusted referral networks.
2️⃣ Keep open communication with shared clients — with consent.
3️⃣ Approach this work with humility and curiosity. We’re co-regulating systems, not competing disciplines.”
Sari:
“Beautifully said. And I’d add — stay trauma-informed, become more sexuality -educated, and remember that healing sexual trauma is a team effort.”
Sari:
“Maggie, thank you so much for joining me today and for shedding light on the synergy between EMDR and sex therapy. For those watching, you can learn more about Maggie’s work at Happy Apple Therapy and about my practice at The Center for Love and Sex.
If you enjoyed this conversation, be sure to follow my Executive Interview Blog Series for more insights at the intersection of trauma, intimacy, and sexual wellbeing. Until next time — take care and stay curious.”
