Erectile Disorder and 8 Masculinity Myths Part 2

Myth #5 Erectile Disorder is All in Your Mind

Erectile Disorder has comorbid origins in medical diagnoses and at times is the early harbingers of underlying illnesses like MS or Cardiovascular Disease. While sex therapists do a thorough assessment that includes psychiatric diagnoses like Major Depression, Anxiety Disorders, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and  PTSD that can impact erections, they also do a thorough history-taking of medical issues and medications that can frequently impact a man’s erectile functioning including: Diabetes, PTSD, Parkinsons, and past genital injuries.  There are also many medications that have sexual side effects like SSRIs and statins.

Additionally, there is a  recent study by Kevin Chu, Et Al  showing an increased chance of new onset Erectile Dysfunction post-COVID-19 infection.  

In this study conducted by the University of Miami Urology Department, it was observed that the likelihood of having an erectile dysfunction diagnosis was 20% higher if the male patient had a prior COVID-19 diagnosis. This may be due to virus-induced cell dysfunction. Nonetheless, many people with penises may have recently been wondering why they have been having newfound issues with performance. If a COVID-19 diagnosis is in their past, this data may provide men a resolve to the confusion and frustration, and encourage them to seek treatment from a urologist.  

Myth #6 Erectile Dysfunction Is a Man’s Problem to Deal with on His Own

Men are taught that in order to be ‘a man’, they need to “pick themselves up by their own bootstraps” (which by the way is a phrase originally intended as a sarcastic Physics-derived comment on the impossibility of such a task).  Frequently partnered and married men come in to sex therapy on their own with the misguided notion that since they are having a problem with their penis, the responsibility lies solely with them to resolve it.  What many of these men miss is that they are part of a relationship system and that there is an impact and a relationship feedback loop that can help and at times hinder progress in healing the erectile issue.  In other words, they are better off not going at it alone. Sexual chemistry and well-informed, clear and compassionate communication (all cornerstones of higher levels of Sex Esteem) are essential for increased pleasure in partnered sex and what couples can address in couples therapy with an experienced sex therapist. Further, the increasing emphasis on surgical and pharmacological solutions to erectile dysfunction has led to a neglect of the importance that couples dynamics including attachment must hold in the conversation–in terms of the genesis and response to erectile challenges. This is true for heterosexual and LGBTQ+ couples.  According to a study by Kristen. Mark “Attachment style appears to be a more important contributing factor to satisfaction than desire amongst diverse sexual orientations”. 

Myth #7 Erectile Dysfunction Only Affects Older Men

There has been a notable rise in complaints of erectile dysfunction in younger people, chiefly between the ages of 16-35 years-old. This demographic includes people with traits such as psychiatric diagnoses (anxiety, depression, bipolar). Erectile dysfunction is associated with major depressive disorder (MDD), and treatment is associated with decreased rates of MDD. A recent study by Sirpi Nackeeran Et Al showed that men who received ED therapies had lower rates of depression compared after ED treatment to those who did not. Further, relationship concerns, performance anxiety, technological savviness and many other issues can be resolved by ED treatment. 

Myth # 8 Online Remedies for ED are Effective 

Due to the heightened rate of erectile dysfunction, be it as a result of psychiatric stressors, medical illness and/or medications, relationship issues or following a case of COVID-19, many men are seeking remedies outside of a medical practice. With an increased demand, erectile dysfunction supplements (ED-S) have been featured on online marketplaces like, with dedicated pages and claims that they naturally treat ED. However, their efficacy and safety are largely debated, which limits the ability to counsel patients regarding their use. Human studies that evaluated the efficacy of ED-S ingredients are limited and have yielded no definitive findings of the effects on ED. This is to say, patients who are considering ED-Ss should receive appropriate counseling by an experienced medical provider and potentially include sex therapy as part of their treatment plan. 

Men often learn about their bodies and sex through societal standards displayed on TV or in porn. In short, men are told they must conform with traditional masculinity in the bedroom–be strong and dominant–and that they must always be down for sex–get turned on fast, be aroused easily and finish just as quickly. These notions are not standards, far from it, and many more men are being diagnosed with some form of erectile disorder. This can manifest in many forms from difficulty getting and/or maintaining an erection to getting less hard, and these symptoms appear for myriad reasons that do not make one less of a man. Stress, relationship struggles, ADHD, even diet, and now COVID-19 can be underlying conditions that lead to erectile dysfunction. There is no uniform way in which sexual activities should be performed, no base rate for hardness and no timer going for erection duration. The ways in which a man has sex is not able to be generalized, and to perform in a way that does not align with commonly held notions does not necessitate a lack of masculinity. Very often, and increasing daily, men are discovering that they have erectile disorders that can be caused by external stressors. There is no shame in this, and to talk with a sex therapist and seek a diagnosis is very beneficial to one’s sexual confidence, and in turn, one’s mental health.